Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year!

I have been thinking about this post, probably for the past two months. A lot of people in my place would be counting down the minutes to say, "Good Bye 2012". Nine months ago, my family's life changed forever. I felt every emotion in the book, and occasionally still do. But I can honestly say I have gotten over all the anger. I am no longer mad at the doctors that were not a lot of help to us. I am no longer asking "why my daughter, my son or my husband". Just because I say I'm not angry, doesn't mean that I don't get upset anymore. I still do time from time. But being upset usually comes from not knowing what will go on in the future. As much as 2012 has burdened my family, I have to think of all the people that have come into our lives. I have to think of all the life lessons I have learned... and even my children have learned. Or how I was reminded that good still exists in our world. In so many weird ways, 2012 has blessed us. This year I learned how not to sweat the small things, how to take one day at a time, how to truly never give up, how to have faith and trust in others when my child's life depends on it. I have learned how the journey we plan is not the one that always happens, how being able to help others is the best never ending gift, and how God really has a plan for each of us.
This year the people that have come into our lives, I never want to let go or forget about them. They all have such a huge part of our hearts. I am so grateful for everything that everyone has done for us....

At the same time, with all the wonderful people that have come into our lives, it has also showed me the true side of people. Friends and Family that you thought would be there no matter what.... seem to fade from your life. I think when something tragic, an illness, or a life altering situation happens... you learn about the people in your life.
When I look at 2013... my plans are endless. I have so much I want to do, to bring more awareness about Chiari 1 Malformation. I want to get through school, so my husband doesn't have to work so hard for us. I want to continue to show my kids, how helping others grows our heart. But at the same time I worry so much about the future. I hate the days Kay wakes up with a headache or say her ears hurt. It scares me to think what will be next in her future. Even though I am so involved with the Chiari community, its days like that the put me back in my place... and remind me that this is a never ending journey. Or when I hear of a child or adult that passes away from chiari... it reminds me to keep going on, and not to give up. Research studies on chiari may not change Kaylie's life, .....but everything I am doing on Awareness for Chiari will. I am paving the road for better acknowledgment of Chiari. As Kaylie gets older hopefully it will be better understood by doctors, nurses, and others in the medical community, along with the people that are in her life.

What's are plans for 2013??? Well, like above I have learned thats the plans we make sometimes have changes in them, and ours for 2013 have already started.  I have decided to take the semester off from school. There has been a few conflict with Ben & I 's schedule, along with Mason's speech & mother's day out program, and then a small part of Kaylie and the upcoming ENT appointment. I had moved around the class, not even taking the professor I wanted, just to take the class... and then when I add these things in the mix... it just seems like a disaster waiting. I wanted to take the class, and do very well in it, like I was before I left it. Ben and I have talked a lot about all this, and we are hoping there will be some changes in his job schedule starting next August, and that is when I will start back. I will go back to school, just not right now.
The kids: well, I am hoping 2013's plans are that they are in school for the rest of the year, and not out sick all the time.... more less Kaylie on that one.... Abby & Mason always seem to be well. There are no traveling plans... which is nice. I am hoping we don't have to travel to NY this year, and that things just get back to normal....and healthy! I still continue to do my monthly ASAP meetings, and I hope to bring maybe a couple fundraisers into this year for that.

So, I am saying so long to 2012, and welcoming 2013 with many hopes.
Happy New Year from our family to yours!

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful entry, Amber. You are such an inspiration! We love you! Love Liz